Funeral Services
Funeral services held in St James’ Church are beautiful and welcoming, a warm place to celebrate life and family. The clergy can also conduct services at the graveside in Weybridge or another cemetery, as well as at a crematorium such as St John’s Woking, South West Middlesex Crematorium Hanworth, or Randalls Park Crematorium, Leatherhead. Talk to your chosen Funeral Director at the earliest opportunity about holding a service with us or one of the clergy leading a service for you.
If you ask for one of our clergy team to conduct a service, we will contact you by telephone or email to arrange a time to meet with you (or set-up a zoom meeting) to help you prepare a template service sheet (Word document) which you can then have printed. (If the service is being relayed online, you could even circulate a digital copy of that service sheet to any who won’t be able to attend in person). We will help you choose music, songs, hymns and prayers (although at a Crematorium, the time available for the service will be limited to 30 minutes).
In Church Funeral Services or Memorial Services are usually between 45 minutes and one hour long. We have a brilliant team of people at St James’ to support on the day of a funeral, from music to welcome, working to keep everyone in church safe. Due to the limitations of our sound system we recommend live music only and can advise accordingly.
It is a wonderful part of any funeral celebration to hear a eulogy or ‘remembering’, reflection or tribute and we do encourage you as a family to draw together ideas, memories, anecdotes and key life events. If it is not possible to include this in the service in the customary way, it will be something to send round to family and share later. It can also help at a time of loss to reflect upon more positive or happy memories and share them with others who knew and loved the deceased. Do talk to the person conducting the funeral for their thoughts and guidance – we at St James’ Church are always happy to listen and help.
To arrange a Funeral please get in touch with the Rector via the Parish Office: 01932 856399.
or by email: stjamesweybridge@btinternet.com
Our team are committed to inclusivity – everyone is always welcome among us, in life and death. We will help you through the planning process for a funeral service and lead a beautiful, individual and moving ceremony; a celebration of life, a service that both reflects the memory of the person whose life we remember and meets the spiritual and emotional needs of a diverse congregation of family and friends today. Do feel able to talk to our team in confidence and know that your loved one will be prayed for during our worship in the weeks leading up to the funeral.
St James is a member of the Inclusive Church Network.
Sadly, the inevitable truth about life is that we will die and we will lose people whom we love along life’s journey. At such times we experience all sorts of emotions and feelings at the loss of someone important. Grief is a normal response to loss and can be experienced as pain, both physical and emotional. We can also feel shock, anger, guilt, regret, numbness or loneliness. We may have unanswered questions, or in some cases, grief may be felt as relief. And we each respond differently to the loss of someone – there can be a unique feeling in loss.
Many people are affected physically by their bereavement. We may feel unwell and generally very tired. We may feel the need to retreat from the world and be quiet, or the reverse, we may not wish to be alone and find we can’t sit still or even become hyperactive. Indeed, there are many other ways that grief can affect us and each bereavement is different. The important thing is to recognise that the emotional shock can produce a physical reaction. (If you do have a recurring physical problem don’t hesitate to contact your doctor who may be able to help.)
At a time of loss we may be blessed with family or close friends to help and support us – but often we can feel quite alone. At St James’ Church we are always willing to be your extended family of support and walk with you through your journey of loss. Your family may like to help you with the details and decisions about a funeral and there may be notes attached to the will of your deceased loved one with ideas of plans they had made in advance of their passing. You may also have previous experiences to draw upon or this could be the first time you need to prepare a Funeral Service.
The passing of a loved one and their funeral is usually a very emotional time, so don’t be afraid to cry or show your feelings publicly. We do encourage you to involve everyone in the family to take part in a funeral service (even when there has been a family disagreement) and we especially encourage children to be involved as this will help them later in life, when they will inevitably have to experience a funeral as an adult. (It is a good idea for a parent/guardian to talk with the head teacher of any children attending a funeral so they are prepared at school for inevitable and yet often very helpful questions.) Crying is important because it can help us to relieve emotional stress and there is nothing to be ashamed of in demonstrating the feelings you have for the person that has died. Sharing grief as a community also helps and we do encourage you to allow our wonderful and welcoming community of Weybridge to embrace you in your time of need and surround you with our prayers.
Remember you can visit St James’ Church any morning between 9.15am and 12.30pm to say a prayer, light a candle, be silent, or chat to someone. We are open every day at the heart of Weybridge Town Centre – we are inclusive of all. Just come in.
Allow time to grieve and remember
Please try and allow yourself time to grieve and adjust to your new situation and always take time before making major decisions following the loss of someone important to you. You may be surprised at the way the world keeps on going when you wish everything would just stop. It can be especially difficult as Christmas, or another significant family occasion such as birthdays or an anniversary approaches.
Those who live within Weybridge Parish or who are members of St James’ Church Electoral Roll, along with those who have regularly worshipped at St James’ in years gone by (or can demonstrate another connection) are entitled to have their ashes interred in the designated area of the churchyard. Because St James’ churchyard is closed, ashes may only be buried in an area specifically allowed by faculty. St James’ Parochial Church Council (PCC) are developing plans to create a new area for the burial of ashes within the closed churchyard (beside Church Lane). The new burials area will be unmarked plots, but names will be entered into the Book of Remembrance which is kept on display in All Soul’s Chapel inside St James’ Church (see below).
At January 2025, we are sorry but we can no longer bury ashes in any existing areas – which are already full.
In line with legal churchyard regulations, the existing areas used for burials of ashes are unmarked plots in the grass, which are close to the church building. Legal restrictions updated in 2021 (known as Churchyard Regulations) prohibit any new form of marking the location of individual ashes, such as stone or plastic name markers in remembrance, flower vases or markings/name signs, however temporary. We can’t give permission for the replacement of existing signs and plaques as these were not originally introduced with a faculty (church planning). Such permission would not be granted for signs, stones of plaques in remembrance under the present churchyard regulations today.
A lovely way to remember your loved one is to have their name added to St James’ Book of Remembrance, which is on permanent display in All soul’s Chapel. Pages are turned regularly such that names from the Book of Remembrance are displayed on anniversaries each year. In addition, the names for Remembrance are added to our weekly newsletter each week at their anniversary and included in prayers of Intercession. To have your loved one added to The Book of Remembrance, you need to complete and return an Application Form. (Being added to the Book of Remembrance is not automatic). There is a fee for this service.
These are set by the Church of England, revised in November and published every year. In addition we ask for a contribution towards extra heating (September – April). There are also charges for the provision of an organist and the Verger, as well as clergy travel. A Choir is available on occasion, upon request. To find out more about the charges for a funeral or burial of ashes contact the Parish Office. Fees and charges will usually be collected via your chosen Funeral Director. At St James’ we don’t have the facilities to play videos or pre-recorded music and therefore we suggest all music is live. Do talk to us about your thoughts and ideas.
It is not always easy to think about things after we have died, but it is a really good idea to share with family and close friends your own wishes, so that they can prepare a funeral that they know you would want. To help you with this, see the attached form. Complete it to the best of your ability and place it with your Last Will and Testament. You may like to give a copy to several family members and we are always happy to keep a copy here on file at St James. Please don’t see this as awkward – of course nobody likes to think about dying – rather see it as helpful for those who will make plans to celebrate your life after you are no longer living and able to communicate your wishes in person. It is often seen as a real gift to the surviving family to have a clear path to follow in preparation for a funeral.
Download: Planning my Funeral Service – Weybridge